Just screwing up my life on a daily basis..... :)

Whatever happened to the good old days when people who wanted to talk to other people would just go talk to them or may be even call them on the telephone and not TEXT THE FREAKING DAYLIGHTS OUT OF THEM?!!!!

April 30th, 2009

I can't see... this place is so humid,my glasses fog the moment i get off the freezing a/c coach.... how am I going to survive this place for three years? at least? How far is it from here? No mood to walk for miles..this is it? Has more trees than I thought it would....I'll just go straight to her cabin... no point waiting for my co's. let's just take the bull by the horns... I hope she's in a good mood.. with all those horror stories I've heard about her I don't want her to keep me.. First floor, na?.. Oh goody! my co's are here.. I totally believe in safety in numbers.. Nice cabin..cane furniture... would look better in our garden.. are those her grandkids?
Damn!! She's talking to me!!!! Shucks! Shucks! Shucks! What did she say? Dr. who? Wednesday? Wow! Missed it by whisker.... lot's of work today then, I guess... where's S going to be? I'm alone? great! Good luck to me...Oh, female seniors to get us oriented!! Nice... gee am I going to look like that in a year? They look exhausted!! I d o n ' t k n o w w h a t I a m d o i n g ......
Who did she say I'm supposed to meet? I hope he's not some hot tempered bull who'll have me for breakfast at morning rounds... this is the place, right? These people sit inside glass cages? For what? To protect themselves from the patients? Does it really get that heavy? Now how am I going to know this guy? I don't see anyone who could be him.... may be I'll just ask this fellow here... does he have a lot of paper work or what! Who is my senior? This gentleman here? Fast asleep- this one? Should I wake him up? Oh god, no! What if he yells at me for disturbing him... may be if I just stand here behind him and stare at him long and hard enough, the heat from my eyes will gently rouse... HEY!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!! NO! NO! NO!!!! He'll EXPLODE!!! Paper work guy is shaking him awake! Wha'dya want to have me killed or something????
Whew! Calm down. It's okay. It's okay... he seems cool with this. In fact he seems very cool. Doesn't think I look like his junior. Huh? Then what does he think I look like- a milk maid? oh puhleeze!! Don't start with the cliched you-don't-look-like-a-surgeon line....wow! he's actually not saying that... Says I have a good HOU to work under? Shouldn't get affected if people yell at me once in a while? hey.. he's not at all a hot headed bull...... WHAT??? Go back and come on the first? Are you SERIOUS? Dude, it's your post ED. You look exhausted, looks like you could do with a hand- even if it's not a very efficient one. I can do angios, you know. I'm good with angios. You got a couple a' angios to put- I'm neat with them. What? You didn't join before the first so why should your junior? Hey look, buddy, I don't believe in angels anyway, so don't even try... no? You're sure? I go back?
Wow! I just met God. Two more days before the bungee jump... Mum wait for me for lunch.... it's quite a first day.

Abhimanyu

For all the wonders we can do after opening up the abdomen, we're still not quite sure how to close it...

Little by little

Little by little
He gave you everything you ever dreamed of
Little by little
The wheels of your life have slowly fallen' off
Little by little you have to give it all in all your life
And all the time I just ask myself why I'm really here......
Love this song!

Whup whup whup!

Hey this is news: I actually had an AITA rank in the under fourteen list when I was, well, under fourteen. I was 131st in the country and there were actually players below me. Good to discover that eleven years later!!!

They said at Sion..

-'There are good doctors, and there are big doctors. Be a good doctor.'
-'The bigger the surgeon, the bigger the incision.'
-'Once I say,"Take the patient in," there shall be no further questions.'
-'Keep the table going till I come back. I will be back.'
-'Everybody seems to forget who's the boss, and each starts doing as he pleases. It looks like I shall have to remind them.'
-'Madhuri, the situation is not as bad as you think.'
-'Surgeons have three enemies: anaesthesiologists, pathologists and radiologists.'
-'Yes yes. Please please.'
-'This is not Leelavati.'

Eat pray love

It's a strange feeling. The roses seem redder, the sky looks bluer and the sun just seems to be singing its own tune up there. It had been a month since I had met him, and a week since he had been teasing me about how I intended to keep my culinary skills, or the sheer lack of them, a secret until it was too late. To clear all doubts, I had invited him to a home cooked meal that night and now found myself at the downtown grocery store, loading my shopping cart with pasta and olives and artichokes and steak and chops and jalapenoes and cooking chocolate.

Delores was at the cash counter, billing and packing with her usual sunny smile. The hard years showed in the lines on her face, but her eyes had a warmth that declared she was the best agony aunt in a thousand miles. We hardly talked except for the usual pleasantaries, but we had developed a liking for each other over the years.

'It's that look in your eyes, honey, that explains what's in the shopping cart,' she said. I tried not to look embarassed, hard as it was. I'm just dating this guy you see, there's nothing more to it.

" I've been there and done that darling," she said, "and I can tell it when I see it. It's no bed of roses, mind you. I've been running this grocery store ever since my husband left me to raise my son alone and it wasn't always easy. I work days and nights to put my boy through college, and then he does five years in prison for drugs and attempting to murder this girl he was dating. It's six weeks since he's back home now, but I keep worrying honey. It's no bed of roses I tell ya that."

I gathered up my things and made my way back to the car, thinking more about whether I had blushed and how many people had caught it, than about Delores's story. I admired her gut though. Life had been hard on her but she had a zest for it still, it seemed. I thought about her while I rolled out the pasta and baked the brownies, and thought that there but for the grace of God were I.

Dinner was ready by 6:30, and so was I. The table was set, the glasses were filled. The roses did look redder while I waited for the doorbell to ring. It was seven, and then seven thirty. Still no sign of him. Had he stood me up? That couldn't be. No, he wouldn't do that. His phone was not reachable. Maybe he had something important. Maybe he had to stay back at work. Maybe it was some minor emergency that he had to attend to first. Maybe he just got caught in the traffic. Maybe his car broke down and he had forgotten to charge his phone. Maybe -oh yeah, right, surely- he was out with that gorgeous blonde I'm sure he was staring at at the restaurant that day. Oh please! He wouldn't do that!
It was nearly eight by the time the doorbell rang. He was there, a bunch of carnations in hand, his hair a little tousled, which made him look all the more adorable.
'I'm sorry I'm late,' he said. 'Mum had an emergency.'
'Oh dear, is she okay?' I asked as I helped him hang up his jacket.
'Ah, she just had a rough day at work. A lot of business today and she coudn't account for nearly three grand. We sat over it and figured it out and just as that got sorted the cooling system broke down. Had to help her fix it before I drove her home. And then I picked up these carnations for you. I remember you said you like them.'
'Thank you,' I said in a gentler tone as I fetched a vase for the flowers. 'What does your Mum do, by the way?'
'Why, Mum?' he replied. 'Well, she's been running the downtown grocery store for as long as I can remember.'

Four walls and Hope

The sand was soft beneath my feet,
The silver dust of chaste moonlight.
The breeze whispered it's its sweet ode to
The pristine beauty of the full moon night.

The waves beckoned to farther out-
To love and peace and joy somewhere,
The leaves fluttered to kiss the earth
And lie without another care.

Just out the window but still so far-
Why bound by this unseen rope?
The earth is free, and are all it's beings
Yet we live in but four walls and hope.

The ego is the student's worst enemy.

New laptop
New connection
New chance
Yippee!!!

Reflections

Quite amusing to look back over my thoughts a year later :)