Just another day

G actually thinks her blog would have been more interesting if she had taken up medicine. In the sense that brain machines and exploding fire hydrants don't thrill her as much as eye witness accounts of valiantly fought battles for life and heroic resuscitations. Of intracardiac injections (not recommended any more) and ER thoracotomies.Of precipitate labours and emergency PCF decompressions. Of the thrill of being called "doctoreen bai" by a patient after three hundred before her have driven me SICK with "shishterrr".
That's the ground reality.It's 9 am on a typical day and I'm rushing to the ophthal OPD, for that's where I shall be incarcerated for the next few days. Trust me G, a sewing machine would be a thousand times more interesting than anything I've ever done at work so far; brain machines sound delectable. The waiting room outside the OPD looks like Woodstock, the OPD looks like the Kumbh Mela. A dozen trodden toes and the accompanying expletives later, I reach a chair and call for the first patient to have his vision tested.
" Cover your right eye, " I say.
He promptly covers his left.
" Can you see the chart at the far end of the room?" i say, pointing to the Landolt's.
" Yes I can"
" Well, now count the number of dots in each box from top to bottom, using only your right eye. can you tell me how many there are right on the top?"
Silence.
" How many dots do you see?"
Silence.
" Are you unable to see them?"
Silence. Then," there are five in the middle line."
"Huh?"
"And nine there. And seven."
"Huh?" Really, HUH! There are four huge dots there on the top, I can swear! My eyes are fine!"Wait a minute," i say, "let's go a step at a time. How many are there right at the top?"
"Four!"
Whew! " Okay, now below that?"
" Five!"
"Well, let's stick to the rules, okay? Let's read from left to right. How many are there on the left?"
"Four!"
"Good! Now next to that?"
"Six."
HUH! There are four right on top, and two boxes in the second line with four in the left and five in the right. And he just said five, for crying out loud! " Are you sure? Count again carefully."
"Six!"
"Can you see it clearly? Does it appear hazy?"
" I can see it clearly. There are six!"
Something is wrong with my eyes!! " Go step wise! Start a line from the left. Which line are you reading?" There are three different boxes with six dots in three different lines. Which line is this guy reading?
" O shishterrr!!! I'm telling you there are six!!! Do think I'm lying? Can't you see? There! See there!! In THAT line?"
"Which line?"
"THAT!!!!"
"Okay, read the entire line."
"Six, five, three, five, four."
Well, there is a line that reads four-five-three-six-five from left to right and five-six-three-five-four from right to left. "Can you read it for me from left to right please?"
"O shishterrr, i came here to have my eyes checked, not to count dots!!"
That's it. My waterloo. I guess his vision is 6/12. Thank God for automatic refractometry. I'm checking into psychi. Brain machines, anyone?